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Maybe All Is Not What It Seems To Be For A Very Good Reason (Or - Mindgames And Melodies)
I have had a song playing in my head for most of this week.  It is my favourite sort of song - as in - it has many layers to it.  In the case of this particular song - if you take the lyrics literally and you are of a certain religious or faith persuasion - you will probably hate the song (and decide I should be the subject of your next Prayer Meeting) - but - if you allow me to give you my take on it - you may be open to a new way of thinking about things.

The song is "If God Was A Woman" by Richie Sambora.  It actually reminds me of one of my friends for two reasons (I am not saying who or why).

If you want to hear the song www.youtube.com/watch.

Sometimes we are too quick to go for the obvious reasons behind someone looking a certain way, acting a certain way, etc, and pass judgement on what we think we know.

For example, I know of several people who will say that the song is Blasphemous and I should not even be listening to it due to me attending a Christian place of Worship (whether or not I make any claims regarding being a Christian).

I would say the exact opposite.  One layer below the "obvious" is the question I regularly ask myself when I am sitting in a Church Service - what is the point of being here??? - I always feel that I should be out trying to put my beliefs into action - instead of being told that I don't fit in.

Let's face it - if you get within 30 feet of a Church (or even what I would call an "extremist Christian") you are going to have one of two things happening to you - you are going to be preached at and you are going to be judged.  Unfortunately, some of the most synthetic and fake people I have ever met claimed to attend Church on a regular basis.  They seem to attend physically but not spiritually or emotionally - based on the way they have treated myself and people I have known.

If God was a woman maybe there would be less violence in the name of Christianity?  Less judgement of people? More compassion and empathy with people worse off than ourselves???

Maybe the major problem is that He has always been seen as a man???  After all, men are more associated with violence and hatred - as well as dominance and heirarchy - whereas women are more associated with meekness, help, nurturing, etc???

But you really need to dig deeper to find the layer which the song speaks to me on.

The layer which the song speaks to me on is one which tells me it is OK to be different because we all have our different ways of being, we all have our different beliefs and experiences.  We can only truly meet each other in our exact place on Life's Journey and the game of "What If?" will just bring us heartache.

I can think of a thousand and one "What If?"s that I can (and sometimes do) torture myself with - some as simple as "What if my Mum was still alive?", and "What if I was approximately 5 inches shorter and 6 clothes sizes smaller?", and some as difficult as "What if I had been born a boy?", "What if I had been born 20 years earlier or later?", etc.

Nobody can judge me harder than I judge myself.  I know I don't fit in to the "Mainstream world" - and half the time I just wish I could stop trying.  Please note - I didn't say anything about "stop having to try" because I will never stop having to try to fit in unless I die.

For all the "tough-cookie" act - the "hiding" - and the "gameplaying" I have to do in an attempt to fit in - I just wish sometimes that someone would sit me down .  and ask me what I would like most in the world and give them to me.  Not promise me them, or make me want something to happen, and then change their mind so I feel like I have to get into another fight in order to get it.  Just grant me three wishes, if you like.  The Genie (or Fairy Godmother) may be surprised about exactly what I do want...

But we can never have everything we want - in some cases we cannot even have what we need.  We just have to struggle through life as best we can.
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