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Inspirational??? Me??? (Or - Why Being Called "Inspirational" Makes Me Feel Uncomfortable)
I have been told off by two friends of mine on Facebook.  Well, I suppose they did kind of have a point.  You see – I had put their names (among others) on a list of humans who inspired me and made the world a better place.  Before you say anything – they were not complaining that their names had been put on the list – they were complaining that mine hadn't.

When I pointed out that my name didn't belong on that list (after all – I cannot be inspired by myself) they still didn't like it very much.

This got me thinking – how do we decide who and what inspires us???

Obviously, we can be inspired by a “celebrity”, or a historical “World figure”, or a certain book or song.  We can also be inspired by our friends and family, or even our religious beliefs (if we have any).

Most of the people who have inspired me are known to me personally (some of them have even been mentioned in this blog before now).

Just out of interest – I found something on Facebook which said “you can only have 5 things – what are they?” - I didn't have to think very hard about the first item because I can still remember the first time I saw it (and was allowed to touch it).

If they were asked to name something they find inspirational - most people would (if they actually like reading) would probably name a book by one of the great Classic authors, or a biography of some historical figure???  Some people would even name the Holy manuscripts from their religion???

Not me!  My most inspirational book is a slightly obscure one which is out of print now.  You may be surprised to learn it is written in the English language.  It is a children's Science Fiction book.  You could say that it is partially responsible for the existence of “Inkyworld” - if I had not either met the author or been able to get my paws on the book when I did, the chances are you would not be reading this now.

I can still remember when I first saw a copy of “Spellbinder” by Stephen Bowkett.  It wasn't so much the book itself which was the inspirational thing – it was the fact that (to me at least) it showed you could actually get paid to daydream on paper.  What made it even better was I knew the author.  (The fact that the author was just about the only member of his “real” profession who I didn't fantasise about skewering with a window opening pole and barbecuing over the Bunsen Burners in the Science classrooms at that school was an added bonus.  Did I ever tell you I have a vivid – and sometimes seriously twisted – imagination???)

There is something which I always find intriguing.  People can find other people inspiring for the strangest of reasons.  These can range from rescuing people from certain death in situations like War, and natural disasters, to being able to sing brilliantly, to not giving up in difficult circumstances, to – what I see as – just living their life in the only way they know how to.

I said at the beginning of this post that I don't find myself inspirational.  In fact, if you were to ask me for a list of “Inspirational People” - and forced me to put my name on it – you would be reading a very long list of names before you saw mine, right at the bottom, where it belongs.

You know something?  It feels very strange to be told that I am an “Inspirational Person” myself.  I haven't done anything remotely remarkable – unless you count existing???  I can think of people who are braver than I would ever be, who are better at writing than I will ever by (and one of them has been mentioned in this blog post), who are a lot cleverer than me (and not just because I can list Brainiacs with PhDs in various subjects amongst my friends), who are better at being friends than I will ever be.  Basically, I am just me – muddling my way through life as best I can.

If you asked me to list my “Unique Selling Points” my list might surprise you.

My favourite “skill” is my ability to think sideways.  To me – the only time when “one plus one makes two” is when you are doing maths.  Let's just say that I am the one most likely to come up with an idea that people will think is too crazy for words but which might actually give the results they are looking for.

I have been told that I make a good “Sounding Board”.  One thing I do know is that I refuse to judge other people until I have experienced them for myself.  Don't expect to be judged on what you say to me – you will be judged on how you treat me.

On the flip side of that I love finding out how people and things work.  The way to find out if I am interested in you for any reason is to wait for questions.  The more questions I ask you the more interested I am (the same goes for the more “sideways” questions I ask you).

I can be a fountain of seemingly useless information (my favourite fact that I learned recently is about Iran getting its modern name as a result of the Nazis deciding that it was the base of the “Aryan” race – the original name of Iran was along the same lines as “Aryania”).

I will always stand up for people who are marginalised.  After all, I know what it feels like to be bullied, to be Disabled, and to feel totally alone and misunderstood.

However, my favourite “Unique Selling Point” is that I am nothing special – I know how hard I have had to work to get where I am now and I know I have got a lot further to go before I can join the “Hallelujah Ineke” Club.

The irony is that my school reports almost all said that I “could do better” and I “must try harder”.  The truth is – I have always felt like I had to work at least a hundred times harder than everybody else just to be the same as them.  This means that I feel very uncomfortable when people start praising me for doing what (now) comes naturally to me.  To be perfectly honest – when people start telling me that they think I am inspirational to them I start getting seriously worried because – in my experience – praise usually comes closely followed by a “but if you....”.

Yes – I am tough.  Yes – people tell me I am good at writing (mostly humans who are way better at writing than me).  Yes – I will do anything for my friends.  Yes – I continue to show courage through adversity.

Does any of the above make me “Inspirational”???  Not in my eyes – it makes me human.

If you want to think I am “Inspirational” feel free to do so – just don't tell me.  On second thoughts – if you insist on telling me try showing me instead.


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