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Identify Yourself If You (Or The Similarities Between Rodney's Partner In Crime, A Computer Key, And A Knife)
How many times have you met someone and they have introduced themself to you with the following words - "Hello! My name is Exterminate - pleased to meet you"?  (The Darleks from "Dr Who" would have a field day trying to get their attention.  Just imagine - "Exterminate.  Exterminate!  EXTERMINATE!")

Or have you ever been introduced to someone and had the theme tune from a certain TV Programme going through your brain?  (Thank goodness I have not yet had a job interview when the words "No income tax, no VAT.  No money back, no guarantee", etc. have played in my head.)

Although I have seriously wished I could use a small knife usually kept in a sock which is worn with a kilt and a sporran on someone with the name which I am referring to who managed to upset both myself and my Mum at the same time (and was rather two-faced about her to me when they found out she had died).

You have probably worked out by now that the first two of the above paragraphs refer to a shortened version of the name "Derek" (and - yes - my Glaswegian friend did get used to me referring to the ex-partner of one of his other friends as "Delete").  Let's face it - with me around you are asking for trouble if you call yourself "Del".  My brain will either flash up the Delete key of a computer keyboard or start playing the theme of "Only Fools and Horses".

You want to know the connection between the name "Derek" and "Dirk" (the small knife worn in a sock when wearing full Highland dress)???  Put it this way - I have two friends and one "Associate" called Derek who all appear to be native-English Speakers.  My Mum's biological (makes him sound like a washing powder) father was also a "Derek" - except his name was apparently spelled "Dirk".

I must admit that the quickest way for your name to stick in my brain is for you to have some strange identifying feature that I can use.  Whether or not you are aware of the identifying feature I end up using would depend on how well I know you.

Not for me the use of surnames, qualifications, etc, when it comes to identifying you for filing in my brain.  That is too confusing.  No - I go for something I only identify with you.

For example - someone made my life really easy a few weeks ago (and landed a very longstanding friend of mine with a very unique nickname).  I know two ladies who have the same first name (spelled slightly differently).  Before the incident in question one of them was filed in my head as "Brown Owl" (I had been in her Brownie pack) and the other one was filed under her full Christian name (it happens to be my favourite English girl's name).  After someone had referred to my friend by mentioning the fact she is a Grandma as well as her surname that was it - she is now filed under "Jenny Apple" for the remainder of eternity (the combination of the "Grandma" a
nd her surname makes the name of a delicious variety of apple).

Names are strange, aren't they?

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